ILLNESS, GO DO ONE!

Having an illness when you have children to look after is just a cruel joke! In fact, it can’t even be a joke, not even in the slightest, because…well, quite frankly, it’s not funny! The last few weeks have been crap beyond belief! As if the whole parenting gig isn’t hard enough, throw in some lurgy and this parenting shit has just hit the fan!

There’s been a whole load of illnesses going around recently including croup, a measles outbreak, a dreaded gastro and numerous colds and flu’s. I had luckily managed to bypass most of these illnesses doing the rounds this winter until a month ago, when all of a sudden I was hit with a string of pure ugliness! Just when I’ve finally got to the point where I feel half normal again after going through a shocking year of hell with my youngest suffering severely with allergies. So this month has just been evil! EVIL!

Mummy Illness

A few weeks previous to all of this my husband had come home from work one day complaining of having the worst tummy bug he had ever experienced. After seeing the state of him a few hours later, I didn’t doubt him for a second and started to fear for my own health…of course!
The boys were also suffering from a nasty cold at the time and they were swallowing more snot than they were food! (Although for Bay, this was like a special treat!) This meant that nights were even more sleepless than normal, if that’s even possible, and we were both shattered. I was bracing myself for waking up feeling shitty over the next few days but to my surprise I came through unscathed! Right as rain and feeling full of energy. Especially now that I’ve managed to reintroduce foods back into my diet. Phew!!

So considering I was surrounded by 3 sick boys in my house and I got through without even so much as a sneeze, I persuaded myself that I must be immune to illness this winter. YEAH RIGHT!!

This illness all started with a tummy rumble and a sick burp, ewwww, gross!! It was my turn! I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty and to be honest, after seeing how Mr Guts of Steele had reacted, I was slightly scared about what was about to happen. Oh shit, here we go! I had lost my appetite, had been in and out of the toilet for most of the evening, whilst also having to deal with the kids bedtime, and didn’t see how I was going to get any sleep. I slept for maybe an hr that night with 2 of them dealing with a screaming Bay whilst hubby was trying to calm Kk down in the next room. Suffice to say, I didn’t handle this situation very well and ended up shouting, “I’M SO ILL BAY, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M DEALING WITH RIGHT NOW! ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP!! PLEASE, JUST LET ME SLEEP, ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEEeeeep!!” My voice and body had cracked by the end of my little rant and I felt broken and limp. It worked though as he said, “oh ok Mummy, you can go to sleep now, night night!” (Oh for Gods sake, what the hell has the last 2 hrs been all about, AAaarggghhhhhhhHH!) “Night Bay, I love you,” I say.

The next morning, Mr Grumbler had gone out to work early (5.30am) as usual and at 5.45am I was desperately trying to get hold of him to come back home as I sat on the bathroom floor, head over the toilet (tmi?) and my heart pounding! He didn’t answer. Five minutes later came the first cries of the day. Kk was awake! Don’t cry, I told myself. You can’t cry! Not right now, you need to save the tiny bit of energy you have left to look after the monsters. Now get up!! It was all about survival now.  I felt drained, short of breath and cold! I caught a glimpse in the mirror and I was shocked to see such a rough looking, jaundiced and gaunt woman staring back at me. “You can do this!” I said to her. The look on her face told a very different story and I’m pretty sure I saw her stick two fingers up at me too. Right you are!

I managed to see through the morning with both kids watching programs under a duvet whilst I closed my eyes and rested my head on a pillow next to them. I had treats ready to fill up their bowls with whenever their incessant moaning started. I was an absolute state and was counting down the minutes until hubby came home and relieved me of my mummy duties! By the time Mr G had arrived, the kids had watched 3 hours of cartoons; ate half a bag of raisins, a third of a box of Milo cereal and were going insane! (Probably didn’t help I had the heating on full blast and the house was a furnace.) “Here you go, I’m going back to bed! Good luck!”

It had been 24hrs and finally it felt like this illness might all be over. Thank Fucking God! That was absolutely HORRIFIC! All I had to do now was rest up and and take it easy for a couple of days then back to playgroups, gymnastics, playgrounds and general outings with the main focus being on …the boys of course! Urgh! *Big Sigh* (Did I really go to university twice to spend my days playing with fire engines and breaking up fights over who gets the green hooter when there are FIVE different coloured hooters?!?! Actually, don’t answer that!)

Illness and kids

The ideal scenario now would be me writing about great day trips to local beaches and country towns and play dates that involved lots of tea drinking and biscuit dunking, but, alas, this was not to be. Instead, I was now plagued with a pounding headache; achy muscles; a stuffy nose and serious lethargy. Another illness! I had transformed into Mrs Grumbling Sloth, entrusted with the care of two energetic roaring lion cubs fighting for attention. The very act of standing was enough to crush my spirit and my head wobbled around as if resting on a spring coil. I stood in the kitchen holding my head in place whilst simultaneously covering my ears and blocking out the constant and repetitive, “mum, mum, mum, mum, MUM, MUUUUUMMM!!” Just a few more days I told myself.

Well, a few days later, I realised I was suffering from the mother of all colds! Possibly even the flu but I’m not entirely clued up on the major differences. Either way, I was dying! My kids had lost the plot, we all had major cabin fever and I hadn’t eaten properly for days. On top of everything, the boys had their very overdue vaccinations and were incredibly needy and tired and – wait for it, I now had conjunctivitis in both eyes! I’ve never had conjunctivitis before so I’ve never quite appreciated just how painful and upsetting it is. My eyes were so sore! Although, help was at hand as I had my very own Dr Bay who poked my eyes a million times a day asking, “Does this hurt mummy? What about this time?” (Yes, it fucking hurts, get off me!!!!) However, I managed to patiently respond with, “Yes it does Bay, please don’t do that anymore, there’s a good boy.” I felt pretty proud of myself at that moment for keeping my shit together!

Saying that, It was about now that I decided I was done with living in a kids toy showroom with every single item strewn out over every inch of carpet. What on Earth has happened to my home? It was time to get my rampage on and stuff every last toy in my way into a box and dump them in the garage. Ahh, I felt like I could breath again. The kids on the other hand were at a loss. They had no idea what to do now they were left with just one toy each yet it was the best ‘playing’ I had seen from them in a very long time, funnily enough.

It’s always hard making friends when you move somewhere new and even harder to ask for help when you don’t feel you know someone very well. Since moving to Melbourne, I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have made such an amazing friendship with a beautiful woman named Renae! That evening, without even asking, Renae brought us over a gorgeous Thai noodle soup. I sat and devoured my soup at lightening fast speed as I was SO hungry! I felt full for the first time in days and, the next morning, I woke up feeling revitalised! The light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you so much Renae, you are great!

It still took a couple more weeks to recover (add in a period and a UTI!! Seriously?!) but finally I am back!

Illness consolation
A box of chocolates sent in the post from my fabulous friend, Martha. Thank you!

Screw you illness!

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